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I'm grateful to know great people. I'm grateful to know people who put the Savior and His teachings first in their lives. I'm grateful to know people that have dedicate their lives to the Lord and know what He would have them say or do, and then act upon it.

This week has been interesting for me. I've been praying about a decision. Wait. I've been praying about this decision since about February. And I guess I knew what the answer would be, I was just hard-headed about it and not completing willing to accept it.

Luckily, I have tons of great friends who love the Lord, live their lives as He would live, and are willing to do all that He would have them do and say.

Recently, within the past month or so, I have been able to get to know a male friend better. No, we are not dating or have dated in the past. I've been around him more recently and he's really made me think. He has dedicated his entire life to the Lord. He wants nothing more than to please the Lord by fulfilling His will for him. Sounds like a crush, huh? Well, you're kind of right, except I don't have crushes anymore. A crush is when you like someone, but know from the start that it could never work out. And in reality, you hope there's never a chance that it could.

This was different. I met this friend in January, and I just thought of him as a friend until recently. Then a saw a glimmer, a possibility that something could happen. And that has had some effect on the decision that I was praying about. Before I realized that I had feelings for him, I was just planning to go back to Alaska and work until next August, when I was planning to serve a full-time LDS mission.

I got to thinking about how much I cared about this friend, and the possibility that something more could happen. So I started praying, probably in the beginning or middle of March. I had just figured I'd serve a mission after I graduated and then worked to save money, and was of age to serve. But things change, and plans change. I know that for sure.

I never imagined that I would go to school in Utah, nonetheless in Salt Lake City. I figured I'd go to BYU Idaho, meet a returned missionary, and settle down by the time I graduated.

Here I am in Salt Lake City, single, about to graduate, with a plane ticket to go home in a few weeks, and the notion in my mind that I will work for a year and then serve a full-time LDS mission.

My plans have changed so much since I graduated from high school. It hasn't even been three years yet. May 15, 2009. It seems so long ago now.

I know I'm rambling... I'll try to get back on track.

So this friend of mine, he's kind of amazing. And he has so many great characteristics. Every time I'm around him I can't help but think how lucky his wife will be. And then I got a notion in my head that it could be me. And that scared me. So, no, he has no idea that I have thought of him in that way.

A while ago, about a week or two before I realized that I had feelings for my friend, I had a thought keep popping into my head. Think about applying to BYU. But I already live in Utah, I'm going to have to come back? I don't know if I can handle that. I don't know if I want to try.

So I fought it. And I kept fighting. I finally buckled and logged on to BYU's website to look at their programs. And, darn it, a couple of the programs really stood out to me. So I started my application to go in January.

Side note: My friend is transferring to BYU; he is also graduating from LDS Business College next week. This is one of the reasons I fought the thought. I thought it might be me trying to find some security. Because I have no idea what will happen once I go home. I don't know when I will leave Alaska again.

Well, I just kept on going with my application to BYU (it's still not finished). And I kept on praying, asking that Heavenly Father would give me an idea of what's coming next.

Another side note: since moving to Salt Lake I have been taking a mission prep class which is offered during Sunday School hour of church. And most of my friends and people I know have been telling me all year what a great missionary I will make. And I have talked with my friend about this before, but all he's ever said is that a mission is such an amazing experience.

Well, on Tuesday I got to have a chat with this friend. We are in a mentor class together, and he is my team leader. Since this was the last full week of school, all the team leaders of the class (there's 3 of them) were having one-on-one chats with the people from their groups. We hadn't really chatted one-on-one for a while, and it may have been the first time we've had one-on-one time since I realized that I like liked him. So I was curious to see how this would go. I knew he'd ask about how the semester had gone for me overall. And then ask how the class was. And then ask how I was. Or something along those line.

Note: I've cried in front of him before, and revealed some deep, but not super deep, stuff. And Tuesday I was feeling really overwhelmed with school. I prayed that I wouldn't break down. It would have been fine if I broke down while we were talking, but I had this "I'm too tough to cry" mentality going on that day.

So our little chat went about how I figured it would. And it was soo relaxed, just two friends reviewing how the school year's gone. And we talked about how much we love the College. We talked about how there's a special spirit at the College that can't be found anywhere else. I told him I was applying to BYU, but was scared about what I'd do if I got in and decided to go there. I told him I didn't know if I wanted to go to BYU even if I did get accepted. We talked about how grateful we were for our time here at LDS Business College. 

And then he asked me what my plans were after graduation. Ugh! I told him the only thing that I knew for sure was that I was going home for a while. And that the Lord would guide me in the right direction, even though I'm not sure which way that is currently.

Note: remember how I said we'd never really talked about me serving a mission?

And then we talked about how the Lord really does guide our lives. And He brings certain people into our lives to help shape and mold us. And then my friend went off and thanked me for being a good example to him, or something to that effect (my mind was wandering, and I was on the brink of bawling because of the things we had been talking about). Then we heard that the closing prayer was about to be said down the hall, class was almost over. So we stood up and hugged. And then he said one last thing. I don't remember most of the words we said, or  most of what we talked about, but I'm pretty sure I portrayed it right. But this is the one thing I can remember for sure that he said, "You're going to make a great missionary." And he whispered it, as an afterthought, or perhaps to himself.

My prayer had been answered. Or at least a goal was set. 

In prayer, I had been pleading with Heavenly Father to help me know whether I should try to pursue a relationship with this friend, or if I should apply to BYU and then pursue a relationship with him when I got there, or if I should go home and then serve a mission.

I'm still unsure of exactly how things will go down. But I know that the deepest desire of my heart is to share the Gospel with others. And I'm so glad that this friend was able to truly help me realize that. It's not guaranteed that I will serve a full-time mission, but I hope I am able to.

The Lord definitely has perfect timing, and He sends the right messenger. In this case, my prayer could have been answered in no better way than by my friend and the simple sentence that he spoke.

I know this Gospel is true, nothing will shake my belief in it.