September 6, 2012

Write about Craig.

Ready to Change Love (original by me, August 19, 2012)

I <3 ? Who even wants to know?
We've been together eight months now
And things are going right.
Things dont usually work quite like this you know
But one thing we know for sure:

(Chorus)
He's for me; I'm for him
He's my peanut butter; I'm his jelly
We're gonna try this;
Try to cheat failure again.
Tryin' to beat heartache and tears.
Me and him; him and I.

Here we go again
Talking on the phone; making plans.
Experiencing bliss,
Living life how it's supposed to be.
Hoping nothing goes wrong this time.

(Chorus)

I know I'm going to marry him,
Just waiting for the question;
Sure it'll come any day
I'm so sure and I'm sure
That he knows

(Chorus)

He's at the table, paying bills,
Trying to make ends meet.
Calls me up, just to get his mind off things.
Tells me, "I've been thinking..."
And I hope he doesn't say it. Because I'm sure he knows

(Chorus)

He pauses too long, my heart starts breaking
Tells me there's too much in his life.
Tells me I'm great, and that he still loves me.
Why is this such a mess?
How does he not realize?...

(Chorus)

I head out to work in the sunshine
Wishing it was rain, so tears could flow
Asking myself why this happened, again.
How can I let him go?
How can he not know?

(Chorus)

He gave me his school ring
Just three weeks ago
Said we'd be together forever,
Once he got a steady job.
And he said that he already knew that...

(Chorus)

Rain starts pourin' as I leave work
Drivin' through town, I stop the car and say,
I'm glad I've seen better days
I'd love to see a blue sky now.
Show me hope and happiness
Let me know that someday there'll be a man who knows...

He's for me; I'm for him
He's my peanut butter; I'm his jelly
Ready to try this
Ready to cheat failure
Ready to beat heartache and tears.
Me and him; him and I.
We'll be ready to change love.

Dreaming of Forever 11

Dreaming of Forever 10

Dreaming of Forever 9

Dreaming of Forever 8

Dreaming of Forever 7

Dreaming of Forever 6

Bridal Party Time from Paper Rock Pictures on Vimeo.

Dreaming of Forever 5

Dreaming of Forever 4

Dreaming of Forever 3

Dreaming of Forever 2

Dreaming of Forever

Pick me ups

For days when I need to remember that I am a daughter of God and that I can make a difference in the world. (Taken from notes, letters, etc. from friends, family, and missionaries)

Compliment book (Eielson YW)

• I love how you're always so joyful!
• I like how you have the time to make sure everyone is included! -Samina
• Talking to you about everything is what I find great about you!
• I don't know you very well, but you are a fun girl. (Sister Law)
• I love the joy you bring to the group.
• You are a very interesting individual.
• I absolutely positively LOVE your optimism!
• You are so helpful and considerate. (Mom)
• You're a nice person. You rock!
• You are so fun! I love being around you! Your smile is cute!! (Chelsea Law)
• You are an awesome example. You are always serving others and treating everyone kindly. I love being around you because you're so positive! I love you!
• I love how open you are with people. It lets me get to know you better in a deep way... I love that. (Celine Legge)
• You're a great example to me! I respect you a lot! And I <3 hugging you! (Ashley Cazier)
• Yo, you are VERY fun to be around! :]
• You are an awesome person and always optimistic. You are very kind and loving to everyone and more people should be like you! (Marisa Crawford)
• You are such a sweet, kind, wonderful, dependable, self-confident daughter of God. You have so much light to share. I really enjoy spending time with you. I learn a lot from you. You are such a positive person too. Remember, Heavenly Father loves you, oh... and so do I. (Sister Legge)

From Missionaries

• Thanks again for your thoughts during this special time of year. Your card cheered me up!                (Elder Gary Hawkins)
• I bet you are now one of their top students [speaking about LDSBC]. I hope you continue to do well and that your dreams become reality. (Elder Juan Acosta, one of Ty's companions)
• I know you will do well in any class you choose to go in. (Elder Juan Acosta, one of Ty's companions)

From Family

• Thank you for the sweet Mother's Day card. Your thoughtfulness really touched my heart.                (Grandma Dewey)

From Friends

• It is nice to know that there are good people like you in the world that truly care about others... You are a good person yourself! I'm grateful for a gal like you who is dedicated in serving the Lord... You have been a good example for me. (Cameron Bodily)
• You truly are great! You are such a wonderful example and a great person! You are so strong in the gospel and you are always willing to help. You have such a wonderful attitude and a great personality. Thanks for being who you are... Thanks for all you do and thanks especially for being you! Thanks for being such a good friend and person. (Kendra Day)

Just some facts...

Fact: When going on a date, even if it's a blind date, it is essential to at least know your date's first name.

Fact: When I hear the words 'group date' I think it'll be 4-6 couples.

Fact: Going laser tagging with 14 other couples is possibly the funnest date I've ever been on! :]

Search, Ponder, pray, and wait...

I'm grateful to know great people. I'm grateful to know people who put the Savior and His teachings first in their lives. I'm grateful to know people that have dedicate their lives to the Lord and know what He would have them say or do, and then act upon it.

This week has been interesting for me. I've been praying about a decision. Wait. I've been praying about this decision since about February. And I guess I knew what the answer would be, I was just hard-headed about it and not completing willing to accept it.

Luckily, I have tons of great friends who love the Lord, live their lives as He would live, and are willing to do all that He would have them do and say.

Recently, within the past month or so, I have been able to get to know a male friend better. No, we are not dating or have dated in the past. I've been around him more recently and he's really made me think. He has dedicated his entire life to the Lord. He wants nothing more than to please the Lord by fulfilling His will for him. Sounds like a crush, huh? Well, you're kind of right, except I don't have crushes anymore. A crush is when you like someone, but know from the start that it could never work out. And in reality, you hope there's never a chance that it could.

This was different. I met this friend in January, and I just thought of him as a friend until recently. Then a saw a glimmer, a possibility that something could happen. And that has had some effect on the decision that I was praying about. Before I realized that I had feelings for him, I was just planning to go back to Alaska and work until next August, when I was planning to serve a full-time LDS mission.

I got to thinking about how much I cared about this friend, and the possibility that something more could happen. So I started praying, probably in the beginning or middle of March. I had just figured I'd serve a mission after I graduated and then worked to save money, and was of age to serve. But things change, and plans change. I know that for sure.

I never imagined that I would go to school in Utah, nonetheless in Salt Lake City. I figured I'd go to BYU Idaho, meet a returned missionary, and settle down by the time I graduated.

Here I am in Salt Lake City, single, about to graduate, with a plane ticket to go home in a few weeks, and the notion in my mind that I will work for a year and then serve a full-time LDS mission.

My plans have changed so much since I graduated from high school. It hasn't even been three years yet. May 15, 2009. It seems so long ago now.

I know I'm rambling... I'll try to get back on track.

So this friend of mine, he's kind of amazing. And he has so many great characteristics. Every time I'm around him I can't help but think how lucky his wife will be. And then I got a notion in my head that it could be me. And that scared me. So, no, he has no idea that I have thought of him in that way.

A while ago, about a week or two before I realized that I had feelings for my friend, I had a thought keep popping into my head. Think about applying to BYU. But I already live in Utah, I'm going to have to come back? I don't know if I can handle that. I don't know if I want to try.

So I fought it. And I kept fighting. I finally buckled and logged on to BYU's website to look at their programs. And, darn it, a couple of the programs really stood out to me. So I started my application to go in January.

Side note: My friend is transferring to BYU; he is also graduating from LDS Business College next week. This is one of the reasons I fought the thought. I thought it might be me trying to find some security. Because I have no idea what will happen once I go home. I don't know when I will leave Alaska again.

Well, I just kept on going with my application to BYU (it's still not finished). And I kept on praying, asking that Heavenly Father would give me an idea of what's coming next.

Another side note: since moving to Salt Lake I have been taking a mission prep class which is offered during Sunday School hour of church. And most of my friends and people I know have been telling me all year what a great missionary I will make. And I have talked with my friend about this before, but all he's ever said is that a mission is such an amazing experience.

Well, on Tuesday I got to have a chat with this friend. We are in a mentor class together, and he is my team leader. Since this was the last full week of school, all the team leaders of the class (there's 3 of them) were having one-on-one chats with the people from their groups. We hadn't really chatted one-on-one for a while, and it may have been the first time we've had one-on-one time since I realized that I like liked him. So I was curious to see how this would go. I knew he'd ask about how the semester had gone for me overall. And then ask how the class was. And then ask how I was. Or something along those line.

Note: I've cried in front of him before, and revealed some deep, but not super deep, stuff. And Tuesday I was feeling really overwhelmed with school. I prayed that I wouldn't break down. It would have been fine if I broke down while we were talking, but I had this "I'm too tough to cry" mentality going on that day.

So our little chat went about how I figured it would. And it was soo relaxed, just two friends reviewing how the school year's gone. And we talked about how much we love the College. We talked about how there's a special spirit at the College that can't be found anywhere else. I told him I was applying to BYU, but was scared about what I'd do if I got in and decided to go there. I told him I didn't know if I wanted to go to BYU even if I did get accepted. We talked about how grateful we were for our time here at LDS Business College. 

And then he asked me what my plans were after graduation. Ugh! I told him the only thing that I knew for sure was that I was going home for a while. And that the Lord would guide me in the right direction, even though I'm not sure which way that is currently.

Note: remember how I said we'd never really talked about me serving a mission?

And then we talked about how the Lord really does guide our lives. And He brings certain people into our lives to help shape and mold us. And then my friend went off and thanked me for being a good example to him, or something to that effect (my mind was wandering, and I was on the brink of bawling because of the things we had been talking about). Then we heard that the closing prayer was about to be said down the hall, class was almost over. So we stood up and hugged. And then he said one last thing. I don't remember most of the words we said, or  most of what we talked about, but I'm pretty sure I portrayed it right. But this is the one thing I can remember for sure that he said, "You're going to make a great missionary." And he whispered it, as an afterthought, or perhaps to himself.

My prayer had been answered. Or at least a goal was set. 

In prayer, I had been pleading with Heavenly Father to help me know whether I should try to pursue a relationship with this friend, or if I should apply to BYU and then pursue a relationship with him when I got there, or if I should go home and then serve a mission.

I'm still unsure of exactly how things will go down. But I know that the deepest desire of my heart is to share the Gospel with others. And I'm so glad that this friend was able to truly help me realize that. It's not guaranteed that I will serve a full-time mission, but I hope I am able to.

The Lord definitely has perfect timing, and He sends the right messenger. In this case, my prayer could have been answered in no better way than by my friend and the simple sentence that he spoke.

I know this Gospel is true, nothing will shake my belief in it.

Looking up... and out

I know it will be hard when I actually have to leave Salt Lake but I've changed my mentality about things.

I'm even more open to meeting new people and establishing new relationships now. Am I little bit scared by that, because of how short the contact in person will be? Yes, but the reward is so worth it.

This week has been a giant step for me socially and emotionally, but I'll look back on it and be so glad that I took those steps and nurtured those relationships.

Also, random new fact, (but the parents don't know about it yet...) I'm applying to BYU. I'm looking to get a degree in Family Studies or Communication Disorders. If I get in, get scholarships, and save like crazy I would most likely go in January.

I'd really love to serve a mission, but the Lord wants me to do some other things first.

P.S. Stood up and bore my testimony in front of the ward today. Talk about nerve-wracking, but it was great!

Note to self: write a song or two about my time in Utah. :]

Just life... and how GREAT it is! :]

Life is just ridiculously amazing right now. And since this blog is just for ME, I guess I can post just about anything that I want. Just about.
Well, let's start with just an overall view of my social life right now. It's so weird, I know so many people. And I feel quite comfortable around a handful of them! Wow, first time for that. Ready for the real shocker? I'm comfortable around girls AND guys.
I'm really tired so I won't post much. But here are some one-liners about the past month or so. :]

• TONS of hugs.
• Hugs at Improv Show from: Michael Benson, Fernando Gaertner, Weston Childers.
• Tons of smiles, laughs, and fun times with: Amy Parker, Timon Marshall, Michael Benson, Braden Cope, and Sister Cope.
• The mentor party at Braden's house with: Amy Parker, Timon Marshall, Michael Benson, Braden Cope, Sydney Tittle, Ryan Laing, Cody Swanson, Daniela Cardosa, Isabel Mora, Alan, Matt Moore, Fae Thomas, Jeshua Chacon, etc.
• Date with Nick, Nyk, and Brian. 
• Do you have any more pies?
• Date with Jesse and Landon.
• Making the quilt for James.
• Shopping for quilt supplies with Jenna, Amy, and Michael.
• Getting lost with Timon, Tina, Butch, and Jenna on the way to Braden's house.
• Smiles, laughs, and good night wishes with Timon.
• Party planning for BAS 185.
• So... you want to be an editor?
• Family History Library.
• 1st time sticker.
• City Creek Mall with Victoria.
• Improv Show.
• Blue-eyed Brown.
• City Creek Mall with Lindsey.
• After Improv Show: 
• Amanda, Isabel, Kelly, Kathryn, Terrell, Alisha.
• Ryan 
• Lindsey & Alex 
• Michael
• Plane ticket home.
• $35 for cap, gown, and 5 announcements.
• Tying the quilt with Timon, Amy, Braden, and Michael.
• Braden teaching Timon and Michael how to tie a quilt.
• I'm such a Mama's boy aren't I?
• Good luck with that--you will be super!
• Car talk with Jenna, Michael, and Amy on way to get quilting supplies.
• Car talks with Amy, to and from Braden's for quilting.
• Amy saying team leaders talked about me at meeting after mentor party. Proud of me for getting out of comfort zone. Let go and play. :]
• Talking with Amy about mentor party and dancing.
• Elders: 
• So, you go to the U?
• So, you were recently married?
• So, can we share a message with you?
• Mentor party: talking with Tina, Amy, Justin, and Ryan. About Ryan's dating life.

I know there's more, but these are the ones that popped into my head super quick. :]